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One last tender lie

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Life. Jan. 29th, 2007 @ 11:03 pm
So its been just about forever since I've updated my live journal. It now appears that people acutally pay for stuff on here, that is lame. Things should be left the way they are, nice and simple. As for my life, well its had its ups and downs. I applied for college after graduating in June of 2006, and have had problems with notifications saying that I'm missing paper work and at first they claimed I didnt submit and application. Which I know was to be false, because I sent a check along with the application, which was cleared...aka cashed (so they recieved it but lost it). So ever since, I've decided to give up basically on the college scene, its over rated. If I feel like going later on down the road, I can, but for now I'm going to stick with what I've got planned. I am currently looking into supplies to start an apprenticeship with my Uncle Roger at The Art Room (tattoo studio). I am very excited because this is basically what I've been into my entire life, and I am happy that I have this oppertunity. Not many get it. After I am done and feel as if I am prepared enough to step out of his shop, I will be opening up a business, curtesy of my mom. Which I will later buy from her when I begin makeing a large amount of money.

As for my love life. It as well has had its ups and downs. I had been seeing someone named Avi for awhile. Things were great until one day he decided that our distance was to much for him, and he needed to take time for himself. I personally have known this all to well, so I took it into my own hands and ended it. I mean I want to be friends with him and see him from time to time, but I am not going to be waiting around forever for someone who cannot wait around for me. So I am currently with a guy named Sean. Although I have not known him/been with him very long. I believe things will work out for the both of us in good favor. I think he might be the one to take the next step with. As in get an appartment, animals, and such. We have discussed it and I'm pretty sure it will happen, which makes me very happy because I can not wait to get out of this shit whole.

So now as for my body. Since I've last posted here, I have obtained a few more items. I HAD my lip done twice (snakebite) but have taken that out recently. I plan on getting a monroe though, because well, it is just more feminine. I have also gotten my nipples pierced, random but I love them. I just recently got plugs, and though they are only an 8g, I'm happy with them. I cant wait to have them up to a 00g if not alittle bigger. I also have aquired four tattoos :). It was a matter of time truely. I have two stars on my pelvic bone/stomach area. Both black. It is the lining of a star within a star. As for my other two, they are two sparrows on my chest, near my clavicles. One is blue and white with a halo, representing "The good in life." The other is orangish-red and white with horns, representing "The evil in life." Soon I will be getting the rest done. It will be a heart in the middle of the sparrows, as well as the middle of my chest. It will have a ribbon going across it saying "Struggle", which means "The struggle between good and evil."

So basically that is my life as of now and how things are going in my neck of the woods. Any comments would be nice, but if not seeing my page has not been active in a very long time, I do understand.

Later all.
Laune: gloomygloomy
Musik: Justin timberlake

fuck you all Dec. 31st, 2005 @ 08:16 pm
am i glad i left, u are all assholes u know that..uggh typical..i try to be nice i just wanna see matt but nooooo of course..gotta pretend the phone dont work and shit fuck u all...if u dont want me there then just say it fucking pussies..u all fucking suck ass except jay..yah know he is the only nice one there..unless he said something and i found out then he is an ass too but yah know what that is the last nice thing i do for anyone because my mom misses matt and yah know what she said what she said to him so i wouldnt cry but no he has to go and say fuck it toward everything he had good in his life..if he thinks he is gonna get someone better than me and someone who will deal with his bullshit ha think again fucking dick faces..cuz he aint the best looking and most of the time he smells like ass..so maybe i should stop trying to get him back and fucking move on to the other decent guys that want a relationship with me.11 months for nothin? I dont think so! geez what asses you all are...fuck that shit...you all think ur gonna get by in life with the bunking and fucking around at school and shit..nope you are all gonna do nothing matt had a good thing the family loved him and i gave my everything for that kid but no he spat in our faces because he thinks he is better than us...but i have something for you...okay he aint good looking to everyone else except me..and he smells bad..who is gonna want that but me...yah i sometimes lower my standards and he was one of em..but yah know i love him and want it to work but apparently 11 months together was nothing to him...hope he fucking chokes and dies because i poured my heart out to him and love him and want him back but he isnt even enough of a man to talk to me as a friend! omg how low is that! avoid the girl because i know she is so much better than me!omg im lame! haha that is you fucking dick face matt! yah i say these harsh things cuz im mad, but deep dowm i know i want it to work and i want you back but hey what am i to do? huh i put so much into something just to be let down and i need to stop that okay...this all wouldnt bother me so much if you were even a man enough to admit to your mistakes and fucking treat me like a friend...as if i was a person you cared for once but to you i dont exist...

i hate life...i really do!
Laune: angryfucking pissed
Musik: none fuck you fucking slut

Sad Really Dec. 18th, 2005 @ 01:48 pm
Things were the worst yesterday, never felt that betrayed before. He used me, and acted like nothing was wrong, what is a poor girl to do in a situation like that? But I ended it I can find much better, a man who will treat me with the love and respect I deserve. Of course the pain still lingers and I love him and want him back but I am fighting it. One of my great friends bluntly put it.."fuck that you dont need that"..and he was right, Thanks RL. As for the other great friend that helped me throughout the day by keeping me busy with christmas shopping, it very much appreciated, I needed that, Thanks KS. But on a better note I got some pink and orange knee socks, Im going to wear them to school tomorrow no matter how cold it is, and two new scarfs one green and one brown/multi coloured. Bought some lotion for my hair (specially made for Red Heads-cant get any better than that!), and well a pen that says "Alien Prober"-and well this little thing that you can make ice pops with haha thats for Britt of course, but hey when I want one, I'll have one hehe. So with the school day approching and my body tiring, I still think things will go well. I'll keep all my great words of wisdom in my mind, from all of you wonderful people....thats all for now..

*dont go being a stranger RL"

<3 Bethany

Bethany and Matt-1/10/2005-12/17/2005
Laune: confusedconfused
Musik: None-but soon uggh a movie?

wooo hooo Dec. 15th, 2005 @ 10:11 pm
Soooo I just talked to my favourite ghost out there and it isnt Casper...sorry..lol good news and stuff as always happy to hear from him i was beginning to think he died! lol j/k but i hope to see him and hear from him sooner or later either by phone or such....he is the coolest and best lol...but its getting late and well i am finally a senior and dont wanna miss school even in the crappy coooold weather....which as the voting shows everyone would rather be in california right now!

Good Night All

<3 Bethany
Laune: enthralledenthralled
Musik: None but well the new kitty I got!

Aug. 13th, 2005 @ 09:25 pm
ahhahahahah long time no entry that is for sure but i am really P.O-d at fucking at some people bye
Other entries
» (No Subject)

visit that site its great for all of you environmentally insighted people and vegan people out there who want to make a difference.
» long time no update thats all though bye

Ultimate Opposite Sex Survey (for girls)

Created by okwhtsplanb and taken 33401 times on bzoink!

--Your Favorite--
Hair Color:Black
Eye Color:Hazel
(Their)Music Genre Preference:Rock
Personality Type:Goofy as hell
--This or That--
Older or Younger:older
Romantic or Horndog:romantic
Smart or Stupid:smart
Fat or Skinny:skinny
Skinny but Muscular or Big and Muscular:skinny but muscular
Punk or Preppy:punk
The Big Picture or the Little Things:the little things
Flowers/Candy or Big Expensive Present:flowers/candy
Mixtape or Burned CD:burned cd
Love or Lust:love
Emotional or Just Not:emotional
Sincere or Jokester:jokester
Hott and mean or Ugly and sweet:ugly and sweet
Sexy or Just Cute:sexy
Arse or Abs:arse
Hair or Hands:hands
Dimples or Eyes:eyes
Biceps or Calves/Thighs:thighs
Teeth or Nose(some people are just wierd) :nose
Clean Shaven or Scruffy:clean shaven
Rugged or Prim and Proper:rugged
Countryboy or Cityboycountryboy
Date alone or With Friendswith friends
Mama's Boy or Rebel Without A Cause:rebel without a cause
--Have You Ever--
Dumped a guy because he liked you too much:no
Loved a guy because he stalked you:no
Loved a guy because he hated you:no
Asked your friend's crush out:no
Lead a guy on for kicks:no
Asked a guy out purely because he was hott:no
Flirted with guys even though you had a boyfriend:no
Lied about not having a boyfriend:no
Lied about having one:no
Been Cheated on:no
Had a crush on a gay guy:no
--Their Clothing(yes/no)--
Skater Shoes?:yes
Pimp Shoes?:no
Band Shirts?:yes
Vintage shirts?:yes
Southpole/um..other thug clothes..?:yes
Dixie Outfitters/Big Johnsons?:no
S&M/Little Devil?:no
Jeans or Shorts?:yes
--Be Honest--
Would you ever date a guy for his money?:no
Would you ever date a guy for his social status?:no
Have you ever liked hanging out with your bf's friends more than him?:no
Have you ever pretended to like somebody to make them feel better?no
Have you called a girl a whore, when you were screwing lots of guys?:no
Do looks matter?:no
Are you honestly scared of being dumped?:yes
Does size matter?:no
Do you avoid 'situations' with ugly guys?:no
Are you ashamed to be seen with your ugly friends?:no
Are you ashamed for being ashamed?(you better be):yes
Do you hide things from your crushes/guy friends/bf?:no
Do you lie about masturbation for attention or false innocence?:no
Do you really want a guy to say if those jeans make your butt look fat?:yes
Are you dissapointed when your bf doesn't say I love you right away?:no
Wanna be a virgin till marriage?no
Do you really love the guys everytime that you say it?yes
Do you dream about your crushes/bfs/guy friends?:no
Would you makeout with a guy friend just to get it over with/curiosity?:yes
Does this survey suck nuts?no

Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

I love my MATTIE
» (No Subject)
Okay so things are going good negroids...hahah wow thats bad to say but okay moving on...umm things are good with me and matt hope it lasts forever and ever and ever but yah happy for Kev and his g/f Cassie they are good for eachother as of what i see now but thats all i have to say..school is almost over and then im gonna be a senior.
» (No Subject)
Matttttttt suckkkks lol

not love him to death that its bye
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In one single moment, your whole life can turn round
I stand there for a minute, staring straight into the ground
Looking to the left slightly, then looking back down
The world feels like it's caved in, proper sorry frown

Please let me show you where we could only just be for us
I can change, and I can grow, or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship if you must

I look at her, she stares almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over, like she's looking straight through me
Her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up she's looking down at her feet

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take, but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now, it's over

So then I move my hand up and down by my side
It's shaking; my life is crashing before my eyes
I turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh

'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me
There's things I can't imagine doing
Things I can't imagine seeing
It weren't supposed to be easy, surely
Please, please, I'm begging, please

She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested
She wraps her fingers around mine with the softness she's blessed with
She peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures
By pushing my hand away to my chest, from hers

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take, but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now, it's over

And I'm just standing there
I can't say a word
Because everything is just gone
I've got nothing
Absolutely nothing

Trying to pull her close out of bear desperation
Put my arms around her, trying to change what she's saying
Pull my head level with hers so that she might engage in
Look in to her eyes to make her listen again

I'm not gonna fucking just fucking leave it all now
'Cause you said it'd be forever, and that was your vow
And your gonna let our things simply crash and fall down
You're well out of order now, this is well out of town

She pulls away my arms, tightly clamped round her waist
Gently pushes me back as she looks at me straight
Turns around so she's now got her back to my face
Takes one step forward, looks back, then walks away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take, but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now, it's over

I know in the past I've found it hard to say
Telling you things, but not telling straight
But the more I pull on your hand and say
The more you pull away

Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take, but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
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